Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Kids Say the Deadest Things

When I arrived for my substitute teaching gig at an elementary school health class a while back, I learned that my assignment for the day was to explain Death to the entire first grade population. The first thing on the list was to read two books to them (a little "Goodbye Grandma", anyone?). A discussion was to follow, then I was to allow them a few minutes to draw a picture of what they "think someone feels like, when someone that they care about has died."


*Many times, I had to explain that "Death" does not mean that you are hearing impaired. There is actually quite a bit of difference, I told them, between being "Deaf" and being "Dead". Ultimately, they agreed.


*Two of the classes (without any prompting from me) recommended that a good way to cope with the loss of a loved one would be to eat. I know more than a few adults who agree with this.


*Four out of the five classes included students who had very real fears about coming back as a Zombie. I assured them that it would be impossible. I realize that there have been a disturbing number of recent cannibalism reports in the media, pointing towards an impending Zombie Apocalypse. However, I decided it was probably unwise to share this information with my six-year-olds.


*One mature, albeit cynical, little girl earnestly proclaimed, "I think they are all crazy:  When you're dead, you're just dead."


The moment I read my instructional plan, I dreaded the hours to come. How could I allay their fears? How could I tell them (as the teaching guide suggested) that "being dead is like being a broken toy or a television that no longer works" and that when Grandpa Abe dies, he'll be gone forever? I was to teach them that people die when the are "very, very old or very, very sick", but what about all the questions about cancer or the little girl whose dad passed away just after she was born? What about that one boy in 7th period who saw a "burglar" get attacked by a Horned Owl, and in his haste to get away, got hit by a car and died in the street (according to him, it happened in Japan and for some reason I absolutely believed him).  


I wont even mention my difficult time directing conversation away from religion:  Heaven and Hell, and the idea of reincarnation were a little difficult for some to understand -- and I panicked when one child began to explain how God died on two sticks that were nailed together and then came back as Frankenstein (I wonder which church he attends?!).  He drew a picture to demonstrate, which I am sure  resulted in a phone call from his parents.


I heard about countless pets, grandparents, and neighbors who were loved and were now missed by my young students.  By the end of the day, I was reminded of the incredible curiosity, resilience, and lovely, sweet innocence that defines first graders. I was surprised to feel that I would willingly accept this assignment in the future,  and I was grateful for the time that I shared with these children -- teaching about an extremely difficult topic:  Spending my warm October Friday talking about death made me feel incredibly and completely alive.